An Introduction to Relationship Coaching

Relationship coaching, following the TogetherTogether approach, is a combination of personal coaching and counselling. At the basis of the approach are two people;- the two people in a relationship, who are working with a relationship coach.

At the outset, we accept that there are two people who have come together as individuals to form a relationship. Both individuals are valued and worthy people who, prior to the relationship, had separate and different lives. Each person has brought into the relationship a different history, different outlook, different values and beliefs. In joining together, they have created a relationship which, quite possibly, has its own values and beliefs many of which may be 'assumed' or 'unspoken'.

The initial work of relationship coaching is to draw out the values, beliefs, goals etc. of each individual and also to highlight the implicit values in the relationship. Often, this can show how common values are shared and how some values may be held by one partner, possibly in conflict with the other partner. However, the object of relationship coaching is not to draw up conflict but to seek better understanding and improvement in the relationship.

Relationship coaching works best when both parties are committed and enthusiastic about their relationship. It can, however, also be used by just one party in the relationship in cases where that person seeks to improve their contribution to a relationship.

One key factor about relationship coaching is that the relationship need not be 'in trouble' or 'dysfunctional' in order for relationship coaching to be of benefit. Relationship coaching can be of enormous benefit where a relationship may be going through a 'difficult phase' but equally, it can benefit perfectly sound relationships where the partners simply seek to make their relationship or their lives better.