Healthy Relationship Guidelines
 

By Kevin Shaw

Relationships can be the biggest determining factor in quite a few things. Your self esteem, motivation, outward appearance. Finding a good relationship is tough, keeping it is even tougher. For some, they just cannot seem to keep the spark of interest for more than a month or two. While others, have a knack for holding the attention of others. Myself, I won't date anyone I don't see a future with. With every relationship, there are two sides to it for both partners. Sexual and emotional, for today, we are just going to focus on the emotional sides.

Most people care about the person they love, but actions can either draw them closer or push them farther away. Some of this you'll find out by trial and error, while others you'll need to snap yourself out of it and break the routine. Mix it up a little and see what really spices up your relationship, but let's get on with the easy things:

Have you found yourself feeling repetitive? Feels kind of boring, doesn't it. Like you're doing the same thing you did yesterday...only it's a new day. Create a spark of fun, there are many cheap ways to have a blast. Has it snowed? Go have a snowball fight, or make snow angels together. Nice spring or autumn day? Drive to a local scenic park, walk around, have a good time enjoying each others company. Give them a hug or a kiss out of nowhere, the goal is to make the other person feel appreciated and happy, because a change in routine is nice. Holding hands never gets out of style folks, no matter how old you are.

Pay attention to details. For me, the small things will either keep me or drive me far far away from a relationship. I take mental notice of the small things more than the big things. Did they get a hair cut? Nails painted a new style? What about a sexy new dress? Compliment them, and appreciate the view, they like to be noticed. Giving or not giving attention will make or break your relationship, trust me.

Overly Clingy Alert!!! Are you clinging too much? If you can't stand for one moment to be out of your partners attention spectrum or view and would rather cling to their leg, you're being too clingy. It is healthy to be clingy sometimes, as us men like to feel needed in a small way, but over-doing it will land you in the friends zone or worse. Another example is excessive PDA (Public Display of Attention). Ever saw a couple standing in front of you with their tongues down each others throat and thought it was fairly tacky?

Get her flowers on special occasions, don't be dense. It's not a requirement, but it can set a good mood even better. Isn't a few dollars worth the happiness? Now, you shouldn't be buying her flowers every day, because you might send her the "stalker" signal, but flowers on like mothers day, birthday, valentines day are very acceptable.

Take your time. There is no need to rush a relationship unless you really are wanting it to go bad. Enjoy their company, smile. A term I was told a long time ago, is that I could make her smile like a fool without being around. It feels good to know you make your loved one happy to the core of their inner being, I would get light headed and happy just knowing how happy I made her.

Buy her/him something nice every now and again. Even if they tell you that they dislike being bought stuff, it doesn't hurt to give them something. Don't shower them with gifts though, giving them a material gift a day is for gold diggers. Get her a pair of earrings for her birthday...or for Christmas, something that they can remember just how much you love them every time they wear them.

Honesty. Never lie to your loved one, trust is HUGE. Even if it's a tiny little lie, don't do it. I'd rather someone hate me a little for knowing the truth than to despise me for having told a lie.

Be sensitive, but not overly sensitive to their needs. Sometimes you will need to pamper them a little. Rub their feet, their back, calves, shoulders, neck. If you can't pamper them and treat them well, why should they return the favor when you need it? When they're sick, make them some food, help them get better faster. Chances are they'll do the same for you.

Go out with them often. Don't sit around the house day after day...go for a walk...go to the movies, or for a drive. You don't have to spend much money to have a good time. Something to consider as well, cuddling, or spooning. Create a strong emotional bond with the one you love, give them that layer of comfort that just screams "I'm safe".

Joking around is healthy as long as you it's not something done constantly. Call them little love names to provoke a response. I get called "bigfoot" or previously "grampsquatch" because I have very large feet. I know it's teasing and I never take offense to it. On the other hand joking around calling someone a jerk too much could cause hurt feelings. Have lots of fun with him/her just treat them how you wish to be treated.

Above all, follow your heart. Looks should never be the determining factor of a relationship. If you have problems opening up, it might take losing big time to figure out where you need to be going. So make sure it's what your heart wants above all else, and never jump ship because of a stupidly small problem. Make all efforts to work out the small kinks so that big ones are easier to take care of.

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